Thursday, November 03, 2005
Financial Reports Can Be Fun!
They can! No, really!
I find the financial reports on the news as dry as the next person. I have no shares so I don't understand or particularly care what the gold and the dollar did today. But I still don't mind listening to these reports because I can just imagine the newsreader, prior to the story, sitting there with a thesaurus to come up with twenty different ways to say the same thing.
Let's face it, share values either go up, or they go down. But it'd be even more dry if that was how they described every single share and currency that they were going to mention.
The share goes up. It therefore:
Rose, Climbed, Recovered, Grew, Hiked, Surged, Gained Ground (or Gained), Increased, Advanced, Soared, Crept Up, Edged Up, Heated Up, Forged Ahead, Skyrocketed...
The share goes down. It therefore:
Fell, Decreased, Dropped, Slid, Tumbled, Shrank, Lost Ground (or Lost), Bottomed Out, Declined, Ebbed, Waned, Cooled, Shrank, Retreated, Plummeted, Slipped, Slimped, Plunged, Collapsed, Yielded...
There are heaps more, of course (though more for when things are bad than when they are good, I notice). Keep an ear out and let me know if you hear any corkers!
I find the financial reports on the news as dry as the next person. I have no shares so I don't understand or particularly care what the gold and the dollar did today. But I still don't mind listening to these reports because I can just imagine the newsreader, prior to the story, sitting there with a thesaurus to come up with twenty different ways to say the same thing.
Let's face it, share values either go up, or they go down. But it'd be even more dry if that was how they described every single share and currency that they were going to mention.
The share goes up. It therefore:
Rose, Climbed, Recovered, Grew, Hiked, Surged, Gained Ground (or Gained), Increased, Advanced, Soared, Crept Up, Edged Up, Heated Up, Forged Ahead, Skyrocketed...
The share goes down. It therefore:
Fell, Decreased, Dropped, Slid, Tumbled, Shrank, Lost Ground (or Lost), Bottomed Out, Declined, Ebbed, Waned, Cooled, Shrank, Retreated, Plummeted, Slipped, Slimped, Plunged, Collapsed, Yielded...
There are heaps more, of course (though more for when things are bad than when they are good, I notice). Keep an ear out and let me know if you hear any corkers!
// posted by Cass @ 2:35 PM 
Comments:
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I love it when they use a completely inappropriate word like 'plummeted' to describe a 9 point fall in the All Ordinaries.
I left off a common one from the "share goes down" list: shed. The share shed points. Makes it sound like it was a good thing, almost!
And yesterday I heard a good one: the all ordinaries "seesawed"! :)
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And yesterday I heard a good one: the all ordinaries "seesawed"! :)
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